Something drastic like that should be a joined decision. (And if you ask me, to come only if there is no other choice). You betrayed her trust doing it without her consent and she think you are a bad parent because she probably think you should have sent her to rehab or counseling and not police. YDI

This woman was also likely an enabler if it got this back. She knew her daughter was addicted and is just trying to justify the slight of behavior by blaming you. I don’t think this is a one time thing or even something she just found out. Sorry OP, it must be hell, but may be better for you to let the divorce play out. If mom is in denial, I can’t imagine how much worse it will get if unaddressed but it’s likely been going on a while and mom won’t take any action and instead chose to ignore it making it worse. Actions have consequences and once your daughter sees them, it now opens the door for help. And I don’t mean jail, i mean hopefully you can request the judge get her to rehabilitation as part of release so your daughter can start on recovery and therapy to save them from a lifetime of abuse, further hardship and hopefully avoid an early death. Still, if you show up, even to the daughters hearing, it makes a large difference on starting the road to recovery and sometimes you will be in a position where there’s no choice. But if you show up to even support your daughter, it will help on custody hearings for the other kids. It’s tough, but i’m pulling for you!